VIDEO: We Cry As Men
I recently came across this video (above) that is a number of years old, but it felt particularly relevant and important today.
My main take away from this video is this quote: “we cry as men”. The awesome example that this instructor - Jason Wilson of Detroit - sets for his students is inspiring. By allowing the young man, who was being tested, to feel his feelings with no judgement and no shame - his actions sent a clear message to the student involved and to everyone watching too. He then proceeded to go down to the young man’s eye level and explain that tears are ok, and that he was believed in. The other thing that made this video feel so timely is the real world acknowledgement that as Black men in America (See George Floyd, BlackLivesMatter, the examples are endless) there were going to be struggles that would make them cry. Crying is ok, but we must keep going.
There is a mental health crisis when it comes to toxic masculinity and all the violence that it plays out on the inside and outside of boys, men and male identified people. Too often it is men that are responsible for an overwhelming amount of violence in many communities. How do we stop that violence? There is a common expression that "boys don’t cry”…this is very harmful and it is something that needs to be constantly addressed, debunked and replaced with something that is much more healthy and accessible. Last year I came across this quote (below) that really summarizes many people’s feelings, including the instructor in the video and mine about those old school toxic ideas and how we can create a stronger community and healthier families when boys are taught to feel their feelings in a healthy and respectful way from a young age.
Boys will be respectful and responsible for their actions
Boys cry and that’s ok
Act like a human. be kind and be yourself
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